We take laughing seriously. If you buy our physical CD and you, or the nut job you gave it to, doesn't laugh then you can send it back. We'll give you a full refund with a smile on our face and a warm fart in our pants.
Meet The Band
Band Leader - Fart Specialties: and
While shy when talking about himself and his humble beginnings in Swampgas Alberta at the family fertilizer farm shipping-shed, Farquart has a lot to say about his art. "I don't feel the need to define my music. It gathers... deep inside me... and I can't suppress it. It grows and grows until there's an explosion shooting out that fills the air with beautiful sound. I can't stop it, but I can shape it. With my butt. And that's what I do, I shape the sound explosion with my butt. My music lingers, but it will not be contained."
Alto - Fart Specialties: and
As a young girl in Texas, Windfree spent many happy hours wandering the family ranch lands. A gifted and gaseous child, she was inexplicably drawn to the gas wells, which whispered to her in a secret language only she could hear. Everyone else could smell them though. Years later at the prestigious Juliet School of Music, she perfected her distinctive way of expressing the feelings she had long held in. Unfortunately, the rarified air of the school was not receptive to Bella's unique gift, and she, like the music she loved to create, was expelled. A talented writer, Windfree's first book, "The Fartists Way: A path to Creative Release," will be published soon.
Bass - Fart Specialties: and
At 6'4" and 350 lbs, Smokey Bottoms is hard to ignore. Also hard to ignore is the big rumbling bottom he provides to the sound of the Butts. Wherever he goes, Smokey fills the air with the "joie de vivre" of southern Louisiana's Bayou. As a child he was much loved by his family despite his condition ("l'affliction de la farte" in Cajun). However, once he left the Bayou he was ostracized by society and spent many lonely years as a lighthouse keeper on an isolated Atlantic island. One stormy night, a violent sea washed up a mysterious super human farter changing his life forever. An avid chef, Bottoms is also developing a cooking show tentatively titled "Bottoms in your Kitchen".
EL NUMERO DOS
Beat Box Butt - Fart Specialties: and
El Numero Dos would like to send a shout-out to his scientist-creators at the genetic modification facility in Argentina where he was engineered. Although they had hoped to create a "super-soldier," he turned out to be a super-farter instead, and without their inept scientific experimentations, he knows he would never have been able to fart with such substance and force. He also thanks them for giving him his lustrous head of blonde hair, striking sky-blue eyes, and rock-hard muscles, which have helped propel his sound to stratospheric heights. He also wants his lady fans to know he is single.
SIR ANDREW STENCHER*
For over 31 1/4 years Sir Andrew Stencher has been a groundbreaker in listening to popular music. But flauphonic music has long been his true passion. His first production, The Singing Butts "Unplugged", Stencher calls the best of his career. "With this work, I really pushed the boundaries between honoring acoustic principles and safe levels of air conditioning. I startled even myself with some of the sounds I got from The Butts".
*While not officially knighted, his mother has referred to him as sir for many years.
"I have to tell you something: The first time I played Unplugged two of my cats Poncho and Zeta flattened their ears, crouched down and looked around the room. As the music played, they got a wild look in their eyes and ran around and bounced off the walls like the world was coming to an end. The Butts seemed to have... touched off some sort of primal defense mode. The whole experience was very entertaining. " - Marsha Keeton-Nasher April 26, 2010
"Hey there! I just love the CD "Unplugged". Anybody that loves farting, I will let them know about the CD. Thanks!!" - Roy Penden May 2010
"I've heard the Butts......incomparable.....if you've farted just for fun or even out of necessity this is the record for you...... Soon to be released in lovely smellorama?? Wishful thinking I suppose....for some...myself I am content to hear the cascading tones of multiple flatulants undulating in orgasmic and musical time. " - Tad Campbell
"Oh man that is funny. what did you have for lunch ro make such noise like that" - # pikabko1 YouTube Fan
"That must've been been an awkward recording. " - AlphaRed5 YouTube
"I dunno. They're no jingle-cats. " - Bieeanda YouTube
"Can I has it?? I wanna play it on thanksgiving dinner!! " - TVMileyfan - YouTube
You could win an autographed CD
Free monthly newsletter including:
- Special offers.
- In-depth coverage from the Pooperatzi.
- Insights into the Flatuphonic art form.
- Revealing notes from producer Sir Andrew Stencher.